Like being born with brown eyes or being right-handed, some traits are naturally dominant. When it comes to the sexy stuff, a dominant trait can mean more than what you learned in ninth grade biology. Whether you’re just starting to learn about BDSM or if the idea of being the boss in the bedroom seems pretty exciting, knowing what’s a Dom can be super important in uncovering all the sexy stuff you may be into. Some people might like engaging in these dynamics during BDSM play or sex only, while others like to incorporate them into their relationship and overall lifestyle. As BDSM takes on so many forms, it can be challenging to fully unpack what it really means to be a Dom. Power play is about exploring safety within boundaries, in a mutually beneficial dynamic. It is never about simply doing whatever you please with someone.
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Begin typing your search above and press return to search. Press Esc to cancel. The popularity of Fifty Shades of Grey has afforded BDSM a wave of intrigue and recognition, but the logistics of this kind of relationship remain largely undiscussed. When people think of dominance and submission, they probably think of typical BDSM kitsch—whips, chains, ball gags, dungeons.
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Skip navigation! Story from Sex. In my first BDSM relationship, I was the submissive partner, and I was dating a dominant cis man who wanted to tie me up. He was also aroused by the idea of leaving me in a cage all day and only letting me out for sex. This turned me on, too. For the majority of our relationship, I was content in the submissive role.
So, I asked him if we could try it out. A true dominant, he just wasn’t into me doling out punishments like name-calling and spanking. When it comes to BDSM kinks, some people, like my former partner, fit snuggly into a specific role: a dominant one who takes a controlling role or a submissive one who submits to the dominant partner. In my case, I’ve only played both the submissive and dominant roles with specific partners who were also into switching. When I was with the last woman I dated, at first, I felt extremely dominant in the relationship.
Then, we attended a BDSM workshop, and each couple was asked to take turns slapping the other. I found myself completely repelled by the idea of slapping her, but totally turned on when it was her turn to slap me. With other partners, I’ve felt submissive throughout the duration of the relationship.
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Just as with any relationship, there are different BDSM relationship types out there, and more specifically, there are different kinds of dom sub relationships. Although each couple will be unique, the general styles or types of dom sub relationships can be found below. Believe it or not, there are plenty of people who have happy, enjoyable dominant submissive relationships that are entirely virtual and involve no physical experience or exchange.
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